We find so many memes regarding breakup on internet. So, everyone has had a heartbreak once in their lifetime. But, Breakup is the hardest during a lockdown, many of you would agree on this! Breakup tests you in so many ways.
I saw a lot of couple getting into a relationship during the lockdown. Many couples got engaged and many couples got married too. They called their lockdown a “Love Lockdown”. All of this because they got to spend time with their partners, make reels about it. You know #inspirationalquoteshesaidduringafight #lovelockdown #gotmarriedinlockdown #lockdowntales.
I really envyed them initially because I went through a breakup whole lockdown. When these couples shared their videos and reels on “Mai Tera Song”, I was stuck at “Channa Mereya” but a lockdown version. I wouldn’t say it was all good or all bad.
We decided far before that we needed to have a breakup. This is the reason why he was very supportive, neither did he completely abandon me nor did he let me do that myself. This was so far the best part of my breakup. I studied a lot about the breakup psychology. I bet that helped me a lot to ease things for us (I know that sounds insane but I did that).
But a breakup is a breakup, right? It hurts you, it breaks you and it makes you uncomfortable. We did it on sms because it was a lockdown breakup. I never imagined breaking up on sms. Unfortunately, I wanted to go to only him after the breakup because we were bestfriends before being lovers. I really missed him but I couldn’t really meet him because we were in different cities. Imagine breaking up with the person who you love the most on sms, that’s the worst anyone can imagine.
The worst part was, I cried every day, I couldn’t show the tears to my family because they didn’t have a single idea about my relationship. I used to be alone most time of the day with no social company at all because I didn’t think anyone would understand my pain (Imagine that for an extrovert like me). I started analyzing both good and bad of our relationship, I realized many of my mistakes and his mistakes which didn’t help me in return. Whatever I did just made things worse for me.
But I recently discovered it is not all bad! Yes, I meant it when i said that.
This is because I realized what Rumi said was right!
“The wound is the place where light enters you”.
I took a lot of time to realise that it really holds true. Breakup or any other loss for that instance can be so helpful because it teaches you stabilize the uncomfortable, mend the breakable.
You tend to be better than before once you have felt the pain because it makes you uncomfortable with your present situation. You want things to change so desperately. I love how Author Shawn Anchor in his book ‘Happiness Advantage’ calls it ‘Falling up’ and not ‘Falling down’. He explains in his book that going two steps back in your life due to some failure or loss increases your chances to work better than before at life. He also explains that it expands our mindset making us better than before. This is the mindset that helps to bring about a change in a positive way.
Shwan also says that one should always look at failure and loss as a chance to change for good. He says (which is proved in scientific studies) that a failure or a loss increases the chances of out soul to actually grow to its true potential.
I realized that whatever Shawn said is true. This is because I started spending time for self-love, self-commitment. I didn’t do that before, I didn’t treat myself the way I wanted some other guy to treat me. This made me realize how I fell in the trap of false and unwanted expectations from other people. It took me a breakup with the person I love the most to understand the value of self-commitment and self-love. Now I feel it was all worth it after I have lived through the pain because it did all good to me.
For you, it’ll be worth it too. No matter what challenges you are facing in your life. It is all for the betterment of your own self, you’ll know that eventually. Because isn’t failing good?
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